DayJJoke #103

Why did the frogs cross the road?
To get a croak-a-cola.

DayJJoke #74

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution: "this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before". So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he's about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly "mmm...that was some good lion meat!". The lion abruptly stops and says " woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can". Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily "get on my back, we'll get him together". So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts "where the hell is that monkey! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago..."

DayJJoke #1

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

DayJJoke #39

And then God created Saturn... And he liked it, so he put a ring on it.

DayJJoke #58

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It's some obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.

DayJJoke #88

Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 it would be a chicken sedan

DayJJoke #31

(1) The Dalai Lama walks into an ice cream shop. He asks the server, "can you make me one with everything?"

(2) He hands the server a hundred dollar bill, which the server pockets.
Lama says "Hey, where's my change?"
Server says "Change comes from within."